What is an "Agent of Change?

 

According to 'Wikipedia' the free encyclopedia, an Agent of Change is someone who engages either deliberately or whose behavior results in social, cultural or behavioral change.

 

Where does this change come from? People realizing that the old way is not working anymore, and they start to look for better ways to do things.

 

How do I become one? By identifying an issue important to you, determining what needs to be changed, and then by getting involved with an organization that addresses that issue.

 

I have identified 'Rape as a Men's Issue,' now what?

Women you have paid your dues. You have been the ones on the front-line, speaking up and taking a stand. You have fought against oppression, gender inequities, and reminded us MEN that this too is our issue and will never go away. You have encouraged us to get involved, sometimes louder than others, and often were met with resistance, anger, and blame.

 

    Men it is time to get involved. No longer is it acceptable to sit along the sidelines and pretend that sexual violence is not your issue. IT IS!
In case you are not aware that you are viewed as potential perpetrators by every woman that you encounter, you are. At hand are the following issues that need to be addressed:

 

1. Men Rape

   The great majority of all sexually violent crimes are committed by males. Even when men are sexually victimized, other men are most often the perpetrators.

2. Men are Raped

    We don't like to think about it, and we don't like to talk about it, but
the fact is that men can also be sexually victimized. Studies show that
a staggering 10-20% of all males are sexually violated at some point in their lifetimes. Men are not immune to the epidemic of sexual violence, nor are male survivors safe from the stigma that society attaches to victims of rape. Male survivors are often disbelieved, accused of being gay, or blamed for their own victimization when they report an incident of sexual assault. Frequently, they respond, as do many female survivors, by remaining silent and suffering alone.

3. Rape Confines Men

    When some men rape, and when 80% of those who are raped know the man who attacked them, it becomes virtually impossible to distinguish men who are safe from men who are dangerous, men who can be trusted from men who can't, men who will rape from men who won't. The result is a society with its guard up, where relationships with men are approached with fear and mistrust, where intimacy is limited by the constant threat of violence, and where all men are labeled "potential rapists."

4. Men Know Survivors

    At some point in every man's life, someone close to him will likely disclose that they are a survivor of sexual violence and ask for help. Men must be prepared to respond with care, sensitivity, compassion, and understanding. Ignorance on the part of men about the situation of rape and its impact can only hinder the healing process and may even contribute to the survivor's feeling further victimized. A supportive male presence during a survivor's recovery, however, can be invaluable.
5. Men Can Stop Rape
    Rape is a choice men make to use sex as a weapon for power and control. For rape to stop, men who are violent must be empowered to make different choices. All men can play a vital role in this process by challenging rape supporting attitudes and behaviors and raising awareness about the damaging impact of sexual violence. Every time a man's voice joins those of women in speaking out against rape, the world becomes safer for us all.

 

What about bringing men into the movement? Some women will applaud this effort and welcome men's input. Others may not be so welcoming and in fact voice their concerns of men coming in and taking over. After all, for the past 30 years it has been women who have done
all the work and provided and opportunity for men to become involved.

 

How do we do this? By actively engaging men of all ages to stop
the first-time perpetration of sexual assault. Conversation is a must!
Again, sexual violence can no longer be considered a women's issue, or responsibility.

 

As a man, what can I do? It is time to get involved! Here are some suggested steps to becoming an Agent of Change:

 

1. Beware of Language

2. Communicate

3. Speak UP

4. Support survivors of rape

5. Contribute time and money

6. Talk with women (and men)

7. Organize

8. Work against other oppressions

9. DON'T EVER HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE AGAINST THEIR WILL!

 

(for further elaboration on these steps, please visit the Men Can Stop Rape website www.mencanstoprape.org)